Nobody Asked Me, But ...
Here's What's on My Mind
Here's What's on My Mind
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2019 --
Nobody asked me, but ...
Boeing chief executive Dennis Muilenburg absorbed a pounding from House and Senate committees this week over the 737 MAX fiasco. There was a litany of startling admissions about acts of omission and commission and disclosure of unsavory things Boeing did to get the plane airborne and approved.
My earlier expressions of support for the MAX notwithstanding, I think the only way to cut the Gordian knot on the aircraft's grounding is to rename the plane. Strip it of its 737 designation, which would force it to be (re)certified as a totally new aircraft. Assess the plane for what it is: A new aircraft that cannot and should not be allowed to skate through certification based on approvals for earlier generations of Boeing 737.
Nobody asked me, but ...
A reminder to folks chuffed by the Congresspeople slamming Boeing for its handling of the 737 MAX. Those are the same politicians who made sure the FAA was so starved of resources that it depended on manufacturers to approve their own aircraft.
Muilenburg was incredibly bad at the hearings, by the way. He couldn't even counter a grandstanding, besides-the-point attack on his $30 million compensation. He kept mumbling that Boeing's board sets compensation levels instead of having the obvious answer at the ready: Congressman, if dollars could bring back a single person lost in the crashes, I promise you I'll give every dime I have and every penny I'll ever earn to the effort.
Nobody asked me, but ...
You will have heard by now about the lawsuit by a Southwest Airlines flight attendant who claims two pilots were streaming from a lavatory cam directly into the cockpit. Southwest officials say there was no camera, just a joke gone wrong. The Southwest pilots union says there was no camera, just a joke gone wrong.
Even if you give the pilots the benefit of the doubt, this isn't a she said/they said/company says thing. Pilots were being asshats in the cockpit. Fire them. Yesterday.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Hilton's "soft brand," Tapestry Collection, this week got its first hotel in Canada, a newly built property called Canvas. No matter that Canvas is the name of Hyatt's private-label wine brand. Hilton also has a hotel chain called Canopy, the name of Walmart's private-label line of dishware. I was thinking about this yesterday when Mister Meatball Ralph Raffio texted me from the Hyatt Regency Kyoto to say it doesn't actually, you know, have a Regency Club. I explained to Mister Meatball that there are at least three dozen Hyatt Regency hotels around the world that don't have the signature amenity--a Regency Club--for which the chain is named.
Because I'm a "travel expert" and I have to make believe I understand why hotel companies do the things they do.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Samsung blanketed the baseball playoffs with versions of this ad featuring a song called Strange by Laura Pergolizzi, who goes by LP. I've been playing the song and its video a lot lately.
I'm usually a jazz/American Songbook guy, but the last song that grabbed me quite like Strange was this amazing bit of work by Pink. I mean, I could go coast-to-coast on a flight with just these two songs on a loop.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Full marks to Qantas for the wall-to-wall coverage it generated on a single 20-hour test flight between New York and Sydney. The usual gang of sycophants in the aviation media acted as if this one-off was breathtaking and unique. Except, you know, those Singapore Airlines nonstops of almost equal length that have been running on and off for more than 15 years.
It was fun to watch the airline blogosphere go all in this month trying to get Doug Parker removed as chief executive of American Airlines. They were all convinced that their voices mattered. As a veteran of earlier CEO-must-go movements--John Dasburg at Northwest, Steve Wolf at United--I learned flyers don't matter, commentary doesn't matter, facts don't matter. Only boards of directors--usually bought-and-sold subsidiaries of the CEO in question--matter.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Brexit, when and if it ever comes, will be brutal for business travelers. Even if it goes perfectly. Why? London/Heathrow remains by far the most popular destination for North American flyers. A huge chunk of them are actually transit passengers heading elsewhere in Europe. That means they'll be required to clear customs in Britain and then clear again when they reach an EC country. Obviously, time to dump Heathrow as a Europe transit hub. But Americans somehow always seem to default to London.
Come to think of it, Facebook is a lot like Heathrow. Don't need it and bad for you, but people keep using it. Why do you keep using it again?
Nobody asked me, but ...
I'm begging you: Don't let your Global Entry expire. It's a nightmare if it expires and you have to reapply and wait forever for a new interview. However, if you are timely and apply properly, the Customs boys are so overwhelmed that they auto-renew you without an in-person appointment.
An impeachment vote on Halloween? Sure, normal times ... like a badly written parody of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror.
Boeing chief executive Dennis Muilenburg absorbed a pounding from House and Senate committees this week over the 737 MAX fiasco. There was a litany of startling admissions about acts of omission and commission and disclosure of unsavory things Boeing did to get the plane airborne and approved.
My earlier expressions of support for the MAX notwithstanding, I think the only way to cut the Gordian knot on the aircraft's grounding is to rename the plane. Strip it of its 737 designation, which would force it to be (re)certified as a totally new aircraft. Assess the plane for what it is: A new aircraft that cannot and should not be allowed to skate through certification based on approvals for earlier generations of Boeing 737.
Nobody asked me, but ...
A reminder to folks chuffed by the Congresspeople slamming Boeing for its handling of the 737 MAX. Those are the same politicians who made sure the FAA was so starved of resources that it depended on manufacturers to approve their own aircraft.
Muilenburg was incredibly bad at the hearings, by the way. He couldn't even counter a grandstanding, besides-the-point attack on his $30 million compensation. He kept mumbling that Boeing's board sets compensation levels instead of having the obvious answer at the ready: Congressman, if dollars could bring back a single person lost in the crashes, I promise you I'll give every dime I have and every penny I'll ever earn to the effort.
Nobody asked me, but ...
You will have heard by now about the lawsuit by a Southwest Airlines flight attendant who claims two pilots were streaming from a lavatory cam directly into the cockpit. Southwest officials say there was no camera, just a joke gone wrong. The Southwest pilots union says there was no camera, just a joke gone wrong.
Even if you give the pilots the benefit of the doubt, this isn't a she said/they said/company says thing. Pilots were being asshats in the cockpit. Fire them. Yesterday.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Hilton's "soft brand," Tapestry Collection, this week got its first hotel in Canada, a newly built property called Canvas. No matter that Canvas is the name of Hyatt's private-label wine brand. Hilton also has a hotel chain called Canopy, the name of Walmart's private-label line of dishware. I was thinking about this yesterday when Mister Meatball Ralph Raffio texted me from the Hyatt Regency Kyoto to say it doesn't actually, you know, have a Regency Club. I explained to Mister Meatball that there are at least three dozen Hyatt Regency hotels around the world that don't have the signature amenity--a Regency Club--for which the chain is named.
Because I'm a "travel expert" and I have to make believe I understand why hotel companies do the things they do.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Samsung blanketed the baseball playoffs with versions of this ad featuring a song called Strange by Laura Pergolizzi, who goes by LP. I've been playing the song and its video a lot lately.
I'm usually a jazz/American Songbook guy, but the last song that grabbed me quite like Strange was this amazing bit of work by Pink. I mean, I could go coast-to-coast on a flight with just these two songs on a loop.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Full marks to Qantas for the wall-to-wall coverage it generated on a single 20-hour test flight between New York and Sydney. The usual gang of sycophants in the aviation media acted as if this one-off was breathtaking and unique. Except, you know, those Singapore Airlines nonstops of almost equal length that have been running on and off for more than 15 years.
It was fun to watch the airline blogosphere go all in this month trying to get Doug Parker removed as chief executive of American Airlines. They were all convinced that their voices mattered. As a veteran of earlier CEO-must-go movements--John Dasburg at Northwest, Steve Wolf at United--I learned flyers don't matter, commentary doesn't matter, facts don't matter. Only boards of directors--usually bought-and-sold subsidiaries of the CEO in question--matter.
Nobody asked me, but ...
Brexit, when and if it ever comes, will be brutal for business travelers. Even if it goes perfectly. Why? London/Heathrow remains by far the most popular destination for North American flyers. A huge chunk of them are actually transit passengers heading elsewhere in Europe. That means they'll be required to clear customs in Britain and then clear again when they reach an EC country. Obviously, time to dump Heathrow as a Europe transit hub. But Americans somehow always seem to default to London.
Come to think of it, Facebook is a lot like Heathrow. Don't need it and bad for you, but people keep using it. Why do you keep using it again?
Nobody asked me, but ...
I'm begging you: Don't let your Global Entry expire. It's a nightmare if it expires and you have to reapply and wait forever for a new interview. However, if you are timely and apply properly, the Customs boys are so overwhelmed that they auto-renew you without an in-person appointment.
An impeachment vote on Halloween? Sure, normal times ... like a badly written parody of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror.